My mother was quite possibly bipolar. I didn't think it had anything to do with anything until I read that upsi's brother is bipolar. Is it a possible effect of having been raised by a narcissist? Does it make you more susceptible to narcisssists? I've tried doing research and came up with nothing. Thoughts?
I remember my mother taking sedatives at times and, when I asked her about it, she said she was "manic-depressive", as it was called then, and had trouble sleeping in the manic phases.
When I was trying to understand my postpartum depression, I asked my father if my mother ever suffered from it, or from depression in general. He said no, she was so happy when I was born, and loved me very much. I then asked about her BPD and he said I must be mistaken. She had no such thing.
So, yeah, he's lying. I've no idea why. It makes no sense. I guess it's a precaution with him - better lie, just in case. Or a mental habit.
Was she raised by a narcissistic mother, as I'm beginning to seriously believe now? Did she have BPD and is it in any way connected? Did it make her more susceptible to a narcissist's charms? Was she severely depressed at times? I do recall times when she just vegetated in front of the TV, dejectedly; and other times when she was highly energized and cheerful. It could only have been Bipolar II, and a relatively mild form at that, judging from my research. Did my PPD have anything to do with this? Did she have PPD too that my father's hiding from me? Am I more genetically prone to depression because of this?
Does any of this have any connection with anything? Or not?
So many lies, so many things I'll never know. Any little thing I remember or uncover has to be treated as a potential mine for meaning.