I only realized it when I saw the words written down. When my father, in a completely unfounded way, insisted "we were obviously neglecting our daughter, depriving her emotionally and turning her into a mentally unstable person. We kept her in a prison where she was lonely and deprived," he wasn't talking about us. Of course. He knew nothing about our parenting. He was talking about himself and what he must have known, on some level, that he was doing to me.
Gotta love projection. It's the only way we can get information about narcissists, as they lie so much about themselves and factual history. It's through what they accuse others of that we can understand how their minds work.