Friday, May 27, 2011

Spiral

Sometimes it feels like I'm making progress. Sometimes it feels like I'm just going around in circles.

The truth is, I'm moving in a spiral.

After yet another angry phase, going deeper into the humiliating buried memories of my earliest childhood, I'm having yet another compassionate phase. I think of my father with pity and understanding. And even some fondness.

He did better than his mother. Much better. And that's something.

Wherever I am on the Anger-or-Pity circle, I'm constantly moving towards more strength, distance, freedom, and awareness on the third dimension of the spiral. That's what matters.

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