Sometimes it feels like I'm making progress. Sometimes it feels like I'm just going around in circles.
The truth is, I'm moving in a spiral.
After yet another angry phase, going deeper into the humiliating buried memories of my earliest childhood, I'm having yet another compassionate phase. I think of my father with pity and understanding. And even some fondness.
He did better than his mother. Much better. And that's something.
Wherever I am on the Anger-or-Pity circle, I'm constantly moving towards more strength, distance, freedom, and awareness on the third dimension of the spiral. That's what matters.