Tuesday, April 12, 2011


When I was four, my father took me on a long holiday, just the two of us. He asked me: "Do you want to stay at home with Mom or go to the seaside with me?" Being Daddy's girl and a sea-lover, I made the expected choice. I could see Mom was sad, but she said nothing.

Dad and I spent a month or two alone. Well, that's what he says. As we left when there was snow, and I remember swimming on the holiday, it could have been much, much more. I remember little of it. I asked him about it today. I couldn't understand why anyone would want to separate a family like that for no good reason. He said he did it for me because I was so "sickly". My lungs could do with a bit of sea air. But I was "sickly" throughout my childhood - what was special about that year?

Did they fight? Was he forced to take a leave off work? Was there a crisis of some sort?

The thing is, I'll never know. He's my only source of information. And he lies.

It's just so darn frustrating!


  1. When normal people lie, even if they do so very well, you still have tricks in your toolbox to uncover the truth behind the lie. You'll be able to get something out of them, as soon as you know what they are saying is not the truth. Narcs are different. They'll build lie upon lie, contradiction upon contradiction, and rather than finding out more, you'll know less. I'm sorry - for your poor mom as well as for you.

  2. I wanted to know, are there differences in N Dad's behavior since you found out about NPD and started probably reacting differently towards him? Any dramas?

  3. Well, I've been sort of emotionally detached from him since I was in my early teens, if not earlier. The difference is now I don't feel guilty or somehow defunct or faulty because of it. And I don't think not being close to him at all is my responsibility.

    I only changed temporarily towards him when I found out about NPD, and it was to accommodate his personality disorder - I stopped talking about myself completely, only asked short, superficial questions about him, tried to seem like I was interested in him. Made our lives a little less stressful, he seemed pleased, but at one moment a little too pleased, as he announced he won't be going away for 6 months with his GF but will instead stay behind (near us?). So now I'm back to lightly ignoring him when he comes, and he's back to resenting it and trying to criticize me for everything. It's a bit more genuine, but this is what it's been like for years now.


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