"Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law — a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household."
When you find yourself in a narcissistic household - a household controlled by someone closed to all light, truth, and love - and awaken and open yourself up to real light, truth, and love, the narcissist will become your enemy. It's inevitable. They can smell it.
I recently started replying to my father's "What are you doing?" with "We're enjoying life together" and he's been worse lately. This is because his daughter's ability to enjoy life with her chosen family is like a slap in the face for a narcissist.
They can't love and live and enjoy. They want to "suffer" and blame and complain. And they want others to do the same. If you dare be happy, you're not one of them. You're the enemy.
This is an interesting perspective. I have noticed that as I broke away from the enmeshment with my mother I suddenly was ungrateful, unkind, and in her bad books in general. I also watched her rewrite history to create at image she wanted for herself. If I challenged that image, she would retreat into sulky silence. The healthier I get the more bizarre her world.
ReplyDeleteThis is so very true of my dad. He expects me to complain about everything I do for my kids, as if it is a duty. It isn't, it's a pleasure. I'm about five weeks into my un enmeshment!
ReplyDeletehaha that reminds me of my moms totally twisted comment when i didn't eat her food, 'but oh, isnt it annoying and difficult and boring and tiresome to eat pasta everyday?'
ReplyDeleteuh, no bitch, i enjoy cooking for myself. go away.
So true. Ns feel spiteful irritation at the happiness of others. In fact, being "happy" is a great way to stick it to them. Once, after many years of NC with MNsister, I saw her sitting in her parked car at mall. With shoulders back, head held high, and a big smile on my face and a skip in my step, I walked by her car - she definitely saw me. As a teen, I discovered that my happiness pissed-off both MNmom and MNsis - as they often groaned and told me to shut-up if I was excited or happy -so I often was noticeably happy just to be a burr in their saddles. It really is the best revenge... if you're into revenge.
ReplyDeleteHappiness sounds like a sweet revenge. :)
ReplyDeleteTrue joy, the decision to be loving, open and thankful, is, to me, what being open to Christ really is; and what narcs are is the exact opposite.
ReplyDeleteReligious sanctimonious narcs so often use this Biblical quotation to justify shunning their unbelieving children. And it makes me mad.
"Religious sanctimonious narc" describes my momster. Her hateful holier-than-thou judgmental attitude, coupled wityh her fondness for beating people over the head with Bible scriptures, kept me from believing for many years. She used to send me letters that started off with "Dear Charity," and after that there was nothing but page after page after page of handwritten Bible verses, signed "Love, Mother" at the end. One of those scripture letters was 12 pages long.
DeleteI finally became a Christian believer at the age of 50, despite her, not because of her. The God I worship is love. Love is kind, love isn't supposed to hurt.
Charity
I had a narcissistic neighbor who was very manipulative, deceitful and sneaky living next door. When I mentioned the Truth about a couple of things that was going on, he abruptly ended the friendship. He had consistently told me how great of a friendship we had but that was never reflected in actions. Example: I would walk on my cane in the snow, and he would drive by me without asking me if i needed a ride. Upon seeing me at the grocery store, if I was in line behind he, he never asked me if I needed a ride home. At the same time he would be charming the cashier with his pearly whites soaking in as much adoration he could manipulation out of anyone. When he ended our "friendship" LOL, he chose to do so on my birthday...it was as if he was metaphorically symbolizing the hatred of my life by choosing the day i was born on. I told another friend about this, and strangely enough someone did the same exact thing to him a year earlier on his birthday. Wow.
ReplyDelete