Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Impromptu lies are the most fun kind

Because the narcissist hasn't had time to weave an elaborate network of deception, and what he blurts out is just funny.

A few days ago, my aunt came to visit. As she is in frequent contact with my father, she told him of this plan, and he asked her to take a few pictures of our new redecorations in progress so he could see what the new big space in our apartment looks like.

He mentioned this when he called me on the phone yesterday. So I asked "Why would you ask my aunt to send you pictures? We've been documenting the whole process thoroughly with our own camera and can certainly send pictures ourselves if you're interested."

His response? "Well, ummm, I didn't know if you were at home. Or at the summer house. And you don't have a landline there. And text messaging is... Ummm."

He knew my aunt was coming to visit us. But he didn't know if we were at home. While she was visiting us. At home.

This just makes me laugh. But it doesn't help me get to the real reason. Is it beneath him to ask me for the pictures of my home? Is he demonstrating to me that he can find "spies" all around who'll provide him with pictures of everything I do, so he can "control" it from a distance? What's the real deal here? I don't get it. It's silly and it doesn't even upset me, but I find myself genuinely curious.


  1. That is great that it doesn't bother you. You are right about how silly some of the lies are. I feel like I am dealing with a 3 year old child that hasn't developed the concept of right and wrong. Shaking my head is about the best I can do.

  2. When my mother did this, which she did fairly often, I called it "kicking up dust." It was fruitless to fight with her. She never listened to reason. She was incapable of listening to reason or being accountable.

    I'm happy for you that you're not upset about it. But yeah, the curiosity will never go away.

  3. hahaha.
    sorry you dont have any answers. i know your dad's mind must be like a blackhole to you. it seems like maybe if you just ask the right question it will crack his nut. unfortunately, i think he's the only one who could know. and unfortunately, he doesn't know. either that, or he would rather kill you before he tells you.

  4. Sometimes Ns do weird things and there's no understanding them. However, I would venture to guess that asking you for pictures would place too much power in your hands, and he doesn't like that, so he asked your aunt, someone he doesn't mind asking (because she's compliant? he has a different relationship with her so something about that relationship means he's more comfortable asking her).

    Ns really, really hate to ask you for something when they can't predict what answer you're going to give. Hence his asking your aunt, I'm guessing.

    But really they do weird shit frequently.

  5. It's to let you know that your aunt is on HIS SIDE. My Mother in law does it all the time. Even asks for PHOTOCOPIES of photos that other people have, just to show that she can get hold of them from everyone in the whole wide world, because you are ON YOUR OWN, isolated, and everyone is on her side.


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