He never conditioned me to feel sorry for him, to feel close to him, to feel anything for him that might be tender. No, he was always strong, tough, needing nothing from anyone. He never even pretended to show me any tenderness or love. He faked it and talked about it to others, but he didn't show me any affection, even fake stuff, not really.
He only conditioned me to fear his wrath.
His narcissistic mother, on the other hand, pretended to love him and his sister to death and conditioned them to cater to her emotionally and to feel guilty about her emotions.
And through much of my childhood and adulthood he tried to manipulate me using her tactics. Which failed. Because, not being properly conditioned, I took him at his word.
For instance, things like "Well, if I embarrass you, although your friends like me, I won't be at your party" were met with my "Great, thanks" instead of "Oh, no, of course you don't embarrass me, please don't be hurt!"