Friday, August 19, 2011

A frightening dream

I'm at the computer and a man attacks my father, stabbing him in the thighs (very aware here of the symbolism of wounds to the thigh in mythology etc. - a sexual wound meaning sterility, among other things. My father may not be my real father, and some other man may have given him that particular sexual/narcissistic injury of not being fertile and not being my real father.) My father complains to me of being indifferent to his injuries, and I say in a cold voice "Oh horrible. Oh no." and start chasing the perp down the street.

Next thing I know, a horrible murderer is chasing me down the street, trying to kill me. I know all the time it's really my father. I'm in the witness protection program because I know something I shouldn't and the murderer wants me dead (many things I'm aware of now, including his infertility, that he wouldn't like publicized).

I enter a house where my chosen family is with another family I really like - a young married couple with two kids that I'm friends with. This is their home and they're hiding me. (I see them as good parents. I talk to them openly about my father and NPD. They get it.) At some point, however, the wife lets the murderer in and starts talking to him. I'm not sure if she does so in order to kill him or to betray me. But he's no longer dangerous after this.

Thoughts? One I have is: there's a lot of fear in there.


  1. hey, that's a good dream! somebody saves you from the crazy guy. and you know the crazy guy is your dad and not some random sinister presence. and because there's someone safe, however tenuous, present. that was a big change for me in my dreams, in that even though i felt terrified of my parents, i knew it was them and there was a place i could run to, someone safe who knew it, got it.

    actually i had a dream just like this. i dreamt that i went back to my parents' house and unfortunately ended up there again, to get some more stuff. i was miserable of course and didn't want it. it was really epic. brian was there and he represented my savior and i had his phone number, so my cell phone was like my link to him. i kept it in my hand. i was standing in my room and i had closed and locked the door. and this INFURIATED my mom. it was like 'HOW DARE SHE LOCK THE DOOR." and so she was outside going crazy, and she got a, i think like an electric saw, to cut open the lock. and i'm like horrified at how out of control and unstoppable she is. nothing will stop her. and im furious and i go to my dad and i'm like look at her?! how is this normal?! isn't this going too far??! and i'm even FURTHER enraged when my dad just stands there with his hands on his hips, all angry and tense and telling ME it's my fault. and i'm like FUCKK.
    also my cell phone dies and falls aparts when it gets doused in water. and i leave the house and wander the streets.
    but i felt safer because i knew there had been someone to save me before, a link.
    it was really epic, like a struggle between good and evil and the forces of good and evil.

    but yeah, ugh horrible murderers! no no!

  2. I learned that dreams are where your conscious and subconscious hash things out while you are sleeping. When I remember the dream I feel like I am some sort of intruder that wasn't supposed to see that. You are right you are dealing with a lot of fear, some remembered and some recent. I like Lisa's version that somebody saves you from the crazy guy. I like the symbolism that you have friends and their very presence lessens the danger. However, you are the one with the key to what everything means. You are the one that can decide if it was just you subconscious venting or something to process while you are awake. Sending good thoughts your way.


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