I had one of those meaningful dreams last night. I was sitting with some friends on top of a hill overlooking a lake at night. The lake was calm and deep and clear and you could see the bottom, although it was dark outside. My friends were chatting and one of them quoted some advice I'd given her. I said "What do I know?" and stood up. I started descending the hill, a baby in my arms, because I wanted to show the lake to the baby.
Someone said "There's filth at the bottom of the lake" and I said "No, those are plants. The lake is very clean and clear and you can see the plants on the bottom."
When I got almost to the foot of the hill, there were some stairs there leading to the lake. They were slippery and suddenly I was afraid for the baby. I sat down and closed my eyes and started slowly sliding down them, when, all of a sudden, something dark, wild, and stinky jumped at me, grabbed me by the hair and started screeching! I still didn't open my eyes. Then I woke up.
So far, this is what I've come up with: I want to go deep and discover my true self and see it through the eyes of my inner child. So I go on, further and further down into my memories and childhood and real feelings, but there's something scary there I'm still not ready to confront, and, until I do, I won't get it right. What could it be?
What grabbed me was an irritating, comparatively tiny monster. I wasn't really scared. I knew I'd get rid of it. But it was still preventing me from getting to the lake. And I wouldn't LOOK at it. I was just about to ask it: "Who are you and what do you want?" when I woke up.
Dear fellow armchair psychologists, feel free to interpret!
Doesn't that stink? It never fails that I wake up at the EXACT moment I think I am going to find out what the dream means. Then I lay there puzzling and obsessing over it forever.
ReplyDeleteI interpret your dream as "the filth" is NOT at the bottom of the lake--- that is what everyone else has been telling you--- it's actually clear and beautiful (as you said) once you get past the surface.
The filth is that dark, wild and stinky thing that jumped at you-- (no one else recognizes it as the Filth) which by the way was just a dark, wild, and stinky thing that you were NOT afraid of.
The meaning of it? (armcahir anaylsis coming up....) The lake is your future that is clear and bright. The child was yourself that needed protecting... you are still protecting it, AND it is safe in your arms (you are taking great care of yourself). The dark, wild, and stinky thing was your Narc.... which even though you didn't look at it, did NOT intimidate you, even though it did everything in it's power to do so. (The Narc clinging to old ways to control you perhaps?)
While the dream might have seemed creepy, I don't think it's message was. You know your future is bright, your awareness concerning your Narc is protecting you, and no matter what your Narc does to try an manipulate you, it won't work.
There... that will be $120 for cost of your counseling session, please. :)
Hey, thanks, it's actually a great piece of analytical work... some of that stuff hasn't occurred to me. I knew posting this would pay off.
ReplyDeleteIt wasn't a creepy dream. It felt beautiful. It was just so frustrating not to be able to get to that lake!
Can I send you a check? Via e-mail? ;)
Sure! I accept e-mail checks... it takes forever for them to get here though.... someone sent me one last year and it's STILL not here yet!!! Geez! :)
ReplyDeletegreat interpretation Number One Nut! --joyfulalivewoman
ReplyDelete