Friday, June 7, 2013

New Analogy

I have started to think about my early relationship with my parents in a new way.

I no longer - having, of course, first gone through such a long phase of anger, blaming, and analyzing, which I'm perfectly happy with - need to think about the "relationship" we had. Or them, really, too much.

I see it this way: yes, this early stuff, and love, and parents, all of this is very important. It's like developing language in children. If a child is not communicated with in early childhood, she will have trouble learning language.

Well, I realized recently that, no, my parents never taught me the language of love, but that, yes, I am able to speak it with others now. It's not easy, it's not my mother tongue, I make mistakes or just don't know how to express myself, but I'm slowly getting there. And this is all that currently matters to me. I don't need to think about the fact that my parents failed me in this department so much any more. I just want to focus on the department itself, because that's what matters.

Therapy helped with that. Mostly, my therapist helped me allow myself to not feel anything much for my parents. And be OK with that. Because I feel things for other people, which means I learned language later in life - which is harder to do, but not impossible.

My new version of the recurring dream in which I discover that I actually never graduated from high school and thus my university degree and graduate degrees are invalid? I go back to school, ask around and really, there are a couple of classes that I never finished owing to an error of sorts. I never really graduated. But, also, the administration overlooked this. They gave me a diploma. I officially and validly graduated, even though I missed some things. No one will cause me any trouble or blame me for not completing those courses so long ago, especially given how far I've come since. I can freely go on with my life and, in the dream, I choose to do so.

In my life, I choose to do so as well.

I'm where I am and will be focusing on that now. Working on my doctoral dissertation, embracing new career opportunities assertively, actively making friends with people I find interesting, enjoying my family.

10 comments:

  1. That's a great analogy, PA

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  2. (Standing ovation, PA.)
    It takes what it takes to get to the point of almost disinterest or detachment. In my world, the word is "Acceptance." They are who they are (shrugs shoulders.) Was my world informed in a major way by Psychob? Of course.
    But it's also been informed by all kinds of wonderful people, opportunities etc. that would never have happened had I stayed "stuck." We can't change the past but that doesn't mean the present or the future or most importantly we have been somehow foreclosed as a result.
    I'm pleased beyond words for you, PA. Congratulations!
    TW

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  3. Great analogy on the language. Helps me to be a little more patient with myself when I feel I am floundering. And the absence of feeling for the N-parent, that's a great benchmark. Congrats on all the accomplishments!

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  4. I was married to my beloved husband and we loved and cherished ourselves for good 2years and every thing was going on smoothly but april 5, 2013 we both had misunderstanding and he told me that the relationship is over and that he is fed up with me and I begged him because I love him so much but he refused me I was so down cast and I felt the world has come to an end for me but my friend told me about a spell caster that helped her sister out in getting her relationship back, a good job and favor in any of her endeavor but at first I was scared but I have to give this man a trial because I love my husband very much and I am not willing to loose him to any woman, so I ordered returning love spell from this great spell caster that made me a happy woman again to say it all my husband came back to me with much love and a caring heart...i am testifying to this great spell caster of Ishvara temple you are a great man in this world and you mean so much to me you are the best spell caster that i have ever hear off in all website contact this man via this email if you really need to get your problems solve ishvaratemple@yahoo.com

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  5. I believe you do believe in God
    The Narrative in the bible where Jesus was being tempted by satan in the wilderness ..
    He was told to just bow before Satan and he would give him all the kingdoms of the earth and all that he desired.
    Engaging the occult is dangerous, even if it will work and prosper you as you have said, but it's temporal gain in this world
    just like if christ had accepted to bow before the devil and he would Prosper him, engaging spell binders may indeed make your earthly problems disappear. But in one way you are selling your sou to the devil for Material gain.

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  9. Great blog. Thanks for the good work done here! It is helping me. Thanks.

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