I have started to think about my early relationship with my parents in a new way.
I no longer - having, of course, first gone through such a long phase of anger, blaming, and analyzing, which I'm perfectly happy with - need to think about the "relationship" we had. Or them, really, too much.
I see it this way: yes, this early stuff, and love, and parents, all of this is very important. It's like developing language in children. If a child is not communicated with in early childhood, she will have trouble learning language.
Well, I realized recently that, no, my parents never taught me the language of love, but that, yes, I am able to speak it with others now. It's not easy, it's not my mother tongue, I make mistakes or just don't know how to express myself, but I'm slowly getting there. And this is all that currently matters to me. I don't need to think about the fact that my parents failed me in this department so much any more. I just want to focus on the department itself, because that's what matters.
Therapy helped with that. Mostly, my therapist helped me allow myself to not feel anything much for my parents. And be OK with that. Because I feel things for other people, which means I learned language later in life - which is harder to do, but not impossible.
My new version of the recurring dream in which I discover that I actually never graduated from high school and thus my university degree and graduate degrees are invalid? I go back to school, ask around and really, there are a couple of classes that I never finished owing to an error of sorts. I never really graduated. But, also, the administration overlooked this. They gave me a diploma. I officially and validly graduated, even though I missed some things. No one will cause me any trouble or blame me for not completing those courses so long ago, especially given how far I've come since. I can freely go on with my life and, in the dream, I choose to do so.
In my life, I choose to do so as well.
I'm where I am and will be focusing on that now. Working on my doctoral dissertation, embracing new career opportunities assertively, actively making friends with people I find interesting, enjoying my family.
That's a great analogy, PA
ReplyDelete(Standing ovation, PA.)
ReplyDeleteIt takes what it takes to get to the point of almost disinterest or detachment. In my world, the word is "Acceptance." They are who they are (shrugs shoulders.) Was my world informed in a major way by Psychob? Of course.
But it's also been informed by all kinds of wonderful people, opportunities etc. that would never have happened had I stayed "stuck." We can't change the past but that doesn't mean the present or the future or most importantly we have been somehow foreclosed as a result.
I'm pleased beyond words for you, PA. Congratulations!
TW
Great analogy on the language. Helps me to be a little more patient with myself when I feel I am floundering. And the absence of feeling for the N-parent, that's a great benchmark. Congrats on all the accomplishments!
ReplyDeleteI was married to my beloved husband and we loved and cherished ourselves for good 2years and every thing was going on smoothly but april 5, 2013 we both had misunderstanding and he told me that the relationship is over and that he is fed up with me and I begged him because I love him so much but he refused me I was so down cast and I felt the world has come to an end for me but my friend told me about a spell caster that helped her sister out in getting her relationship back, a good job and favor in any of her endeavor but at first I was scared but I have to give this man a trial because I love my husband very much and I am not willing to loose him to any woman, so I ordered returning love spell from this great spell caster that made me a happy woman again to say it all my husband came back to me with much love and a caring heart...i am testifying to this great spell caster of Ishvara temple you are a great man in this world and you mean so much to me you are the best spell caster that i have ever hear off in all website contact this man via this email if you really need to get your problems solve ishvaratemple@yahoo.com
ReplyDeleteI believe you do believe in God
ReplyDeleteThe Narrative in the bible where Jesus was being tempted by satan in the wilderness ..
He was told to just bow before Satan and he would give him all the kingdoms of the earth and all that he desired.
Engaging the occult is dangerous, even if it will work and prosper you as you have said, but it's temporal gain in this world
just like if christ had accepted to bow before the devil and he would Prosper him, engaging spell binders may indeed make your earthly problems disappear. But in one way you are selling your sou to the devil for Material gain.
I just want to take a few moments to personally thank you for helping me bring back my husband to me and his family. About three months ago, I discovered that my husband of 3 years was having an affair outside our relationship. When I found out about this affair, I approached him and he did not confessed that he and She was having an affair and that he loved her and wanted to end our marriage and be with her.I was so devastated that I had to be hospitalized for a nervous breakdown. When I got better, I decided to go online and look for someone very good to help me. for a surprised! Then one day, I saw your comment about the powerful saibaba temple and was impressed by what they said. and i contacted him for the solution of my problem, and my husband attitude began to change and share good feelings towards me and i am so much happy after he apologies for what he had done to me, he now love me and treat so much better than ever before. thanks to the great one. you can contact this great spell caster via his email templesaibaba@yahoo.com
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ReplyDeleteHow i got my boyfriend back. I never believed in love spells or magic until I met this spell caster once when i went to see my friend in India this year on a business summit. I meant a man who's name is Dr Eziza, he is really powerful and could help cast spells to bring back one's gone, lost, misbehaving lover and magic money spell or spell for a good job or luck spell .I'm now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 5 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship has been on for 3years. I really loved him, but his mother was against us and he had no good paying job. So when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him. At first i was undecided,skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. And in 7 days when i returned to back to the states, my boyfriend (now husband) called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married. I didn't believe it cos the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do. Well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid, and my husband also got the new job and our lives became much better. His email is ezizaspiritualshrine@yahoo.com
ReplyDeleteGreat blog. Thanks for the good work done here! It is helping me. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteI am Mithra Kalyani.from Canada let my testimony bring solution to your situation, i was in a relationship with my boyfriend for four(4) we loved each other so much he was always there whenever i needed him, there was a sudden change of feeling towards me and he was abusive for reason which i do not know, he will go out with the boys and drink come back home and we fight most time, he therefore started seeing a girl from his work place, he will close from work and not come back home. i was losing him gradually yet he do tell me he still love me. the worse happened when he left the house to live with the other girl and it was frustrating i needed help but there was nothing i could do then i decided to search for help and advice online when i came across a wonderful review about a spell caster called Dr ATILA who have helped people to get back their ex. i contacted the spell caster with little or no faith, i gave him all the information he needed to make the spell work through his email address: atilahealinghome@yahoo.com he told me to expect my boyfriend to come back to me after 24hours which i believed. my boyfriend came back to me as the spell caster said and also kneel apologizing for putting me through emotional trauma. his email is:atilahealinghome@yahoo.com.Dr ATILA is truly gifted.
ReplyDelete