tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8855431321052371348.post6821502427906434143..comments2023-05-24T16:57:15.030+02:00Comments on Writing the Wrongs of Narcissistic Parenting: Signs of DangerPronoia Agapehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07818746040570182407noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8855431321052371348.post-79073304028417655572011-04-27T22:15:39.680+02:002011-04-27T22:15:39.680+02:00Well, he'll be gone tomorrow. It turns out tha...Well, he'll be gone tomorrow. It turns out that this threatening not to go was just part of his emotional abuse of his girlfriend. When she ignored it and still planned on going anyway, whether he was accompanying her or not, he changed his tune, as she told me, and actually at one point seemed happy to still be invited.<br /><br />It was a Narc game aimed at her. Nothing to do with me, except rallying for support, which he didn't get, not by a long shot. I actually told him, back then "As a general relationship rule, the woman's always right, and in your specific situation, your girlfriend is always right."Pronoia Agapehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07818746040570182407noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8855431321052371348.post-7666894208272623142011-03-23T22:56:49.347+01:002011-03-23T22:56:49.347+01:00That's cool, I *totally* respect that. Sorry, ...That's cool, I *totally* respect that. Sorry, I couldn't help leaning towards the "you don't need contempt in your life" in my comment.<br /><br />If you want to stay in contact: some people are able to cultivate something called "emotional insulation" that enables them to spend some time around the Ns in their lives. Have you heard of that? (Sometimes it's referred to as 'emotional detachment'.)<br /><br />Nina Brown discusses it in her first book, don't know if you've read it but thought I'd put it out there for what it's worth. I think it's probably mentioned in other self-help books on NPD.<br /><br />Best to you.PWChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17908795804539211663noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8855431321052371348.post-74573515110562933892011-03-23T15:47:15.889+01:002011-03-23T15:47:15.889+01:00Just don't tell him in advance or he might thr...Just don't tell him in advance or he might threaten to come with you ;)Write About Birthhttp://www.writeaboutbirth.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8855431321052371348.post-38395452653279185882011-03-23T15:32:48.832+01:002011-03-23T15:32:48.832+01:00PS, PWC and WAB, I'm not at a place where I...PS, PWC and WAB, I'm not at a place where I'm thinking about going NC (yet). Thank you, I know ultimately that probably makes most sense, but I just couldn't do that now.<br /><br />If need be, we can plan long holidays away from here, WAB. That was my husband's suggestion too ;)Pronoia Agapehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07818746040570182407noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8855431321052371348.post-66316365701045949852011-03-23T14:53:14.966+01:002011-03-23T14:53:14.966+01:00Thank you, guys!
Mulderfan, I gave it more though...Thank you, guys!<br /><br />Mulderfan, I gave it more thought and I think your intuition here is right on the money (I guess after 60 years you have a doctorate on dealing with narcs)!<br /><br />I'm going with the notion that it's just a narc game, as he can't honestly believe he'll be getting more attention and be less "alone and bored" if he stays behind. He'd have to hire a live-in nanny for that. <br /><br />He was probably just going for "No, daddy dearest, don't go away, you've been so good to us lately so we'll lavish attention on you, as is your due. Let that cold-hearted bitch who obviously doesn't appreciate you enough go without you." But I'll just suggest fun activities he could do there if he keeps bringing it up.Pronoia Agapehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07818746040570182407noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8855431321052371348.post-73176147226667739972011-03-23T12:39:05.699+01:002011-03-23T12:39:05.699+01:00You have no control over what he does, you can onl...You have no control over what he does, you can only control your reaction to it. Also, until this actually happens do nothing. If it comes to pass lay down clear boundaries and go from there when you see how he responds. Most likely nothing will happen and he's just playing the usual narc games. My mother, in particular, loves to get me worrying about things because then she thinks she's in control.mulderfanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07500535934417551223noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8855431321052371348.post-33870614082913086402011-03-23T09:43:21.344+01:002011-03-23T09:43:21.344+01:00And apparently I'm not a cold and heartless pe...And apparently I'm not a cold and heartless person either, because your self doubt makes me want to have you a hug and tell you everything will be fine. And kick that bastard :).Write About Birthhttp://www.writeaboutbirth.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8855431321052371348.post-45860953563823830022011-03-23T09:41:27.067+01:002011-03-23T09:41:27.067+01:00Questioning our own judgment, and doubting our own...Questioning our own judgment, and doubting our own sanity, must be an integral part of being raised by a narcissist. Now that you are aware of the nature of the beast, the nature of your self-doubt has also changed. Sorry for the crappy amateur psychology, just talking from experience :). <br /><br />It would suck to have N Dad around all year long, and you'd certainly have to work on your balancing skills OR figure out a way to cut contact (Are you going on holiday during this time?). But, those are practicalities. Don't doubt yourself. You're a sane person with correct conclusions. Even if you can't feel that now, don't forget it's true.Write About Birthhttp://www.writeaboutbirth.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8855431321052371348.post-87285358957241620772011-03-23T03:16:50.093+01:002011-03-23T03:16:50.093+01:00(Sorry about that - read my comment and didn't...(Sorry about that - read my comment and didn't like my lack of editing!) <br /><br />I don't know but if he is a full-blown Narcissist, trust your gut. Also: if he communicates disgust to you, and has done so for years, you are much better off without him in your life.PWChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17908795804539211663noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8855431321052371348.post-10466816671794525182011-03-23T03:15:09.514+01:002011-03-23T03:15:09.514+01:00This comment has been removed by the author.PWChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17908795804539211663noreply@blogger.com