tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8855431321052371348.post1964641830416703220..comments2023-05-24T16:57:15.030+02:00Comments on Writing the Wrongs of Narcissistic Parenting: BittersweetPronoia Agapehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07818746040570182407noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8855431321052371348.post-55580817291609236212011-06-12T21:15:52.530+02:002011-06-12T21:15:52.530+02:00I made many mistakes with my now-grown children, a...I made many mistakes with my now-grown children, and I always admitted that to them while they were growing up. They respected me for that and knew that I loved them no matter what. It created a closeness with them that is uncompared. Admitting when we are wrong but still establishing parental authority and control (within reason, of course) is essential. My kids have their issues but as they continue to mature they really get I did the very best I could, and they know that no matter what I adore them and am interested in them and want them to be successful and happy. That is all that matters IMO! I made some doozy mistakes and yeah, we can't bring back those years, but we can change the present and the future. <br /><br />I think you are right to write about your feelings and doubts about yourself. It shows you are alive and thoughtful and wanting to do better. Kudos to you!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8855431321052371348.post-30772217530043986782011-06-10T17:27:17.741+02:002011-06-10T17:27:17.741+02:00"But I can never bring back those years. I ju..."But I can never bring back those years. I just have to hope for the best."<br /><br />I so know that feeling! I also was depressed and couldn't bond with my older son. I got over it right before he turned 1. He is 5 now and every time I look back at his first year, I feel so guilty and ashamed.Laneynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8855431321052371348.post-3912499864131159182011-06-10T16:22:45.901+02:002011-06-10T16:22:45.901+02:00You are making great strides. Yes, I apologized t...You are making great strides. Yes, I apologized to my children for my inabilities as a mother. They are all adults now and they are far more forgiving of me than I am to myself. The greatest compliment I received was when my daughter told me that I was a great example of not giving up on myself. Right now you are in the early stages. Results come much later. Teen years are another time of great development...you know how to be there for them know. It will make such a difference.Ruthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07083142637240943607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8855431321052371348.post-53840719549571383342011-06-10T13:51:09.619+02:002011-06-10T13:51:09.619+02:00Happy birthday!
You know, I worry about this too....Happy birthday!<br /><br />You know, I worry about this too. I have much the same experience with my first child. While I was not depressed, I was in the throws of PTSD and actually have very little memory of her first year. I nursed, wore her, and had her with me all the time, so nothing physically missed in her life. But I was not present, and I only started feeling that real, deep, authentic love when I started really healing, which is around the time my second was born. <br /><br />Now, things keep on getting better. Finally, I am honest with myself. It is true that those first years will never come back, and it might even be true that our parenting or feelings negatively impact our kids. But you have given yourself, and her, an amazing gift in setting out on your healing journey. You are there now. YOU are there now, not the robot. If you were not there now, feeling guilty about that first year, all her childhood might have been like that first year. <br /><br />You are doing amazing. I'm not just saying that for the sake of it, because it's the right thing to say - it is true. You are not just doing amazing generally, but especially when you think of the horrible legacy you carry with you.nolongerrunninghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10233202220418917403noreply@blogger.com