tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8855431321052371348.post1113995218928458089..comments2023-05-24T16:57:15.030+02:00Comments on Writing the Wrongs of Narcissistic Parenting: My only session (so far)Pronoia Agapehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07818746040570182407noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8855431321052371348.post-66078978404156703322012-10-18T10:55:34.570+02:002012-10-18T10:55:34.570+02:00Thank you so much!
This guy, according to his sit...Thank you so much!<br /><br />This guy, according to his site and blog, is primarily in the humanistic/existential camp, and now I understand a bit better why I feel so comfy about his whole approach to therapy and life. Pronoia Agapehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07818746040570182407noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8855431321052371348.post-20148993397458563862012-10-18T09:09:36.384+02:002012-10-18T09:09:36.384+02:00Well, I don't work in therapy, but I still wen...Well, I don't work in therapy, but I still went through courses on the major theories. I think CBT is great for certain things, and not for others. Like if you're not looking for a behavior change, but for insight and processing events in your life, it's not really useful. <br /><br />So, generally theories are divided into three main groups: Psychoanalytic (or psychodynamic), CBT, and humanistic/existential. <br /><br />I personally liked and think theories that focus on the subjective experience of the client are best suited for this kind of stuff, but I'm no expert. Alfred Adler, who split from Freud, was among the first to push in that direction. So Adlerian theory or humanistic and/or existential approaches I think provide a great framework while also allowing a therapist to pick techniques from other theories as long as they think it will benefit the client. Some prominent theorists in humanistic and existential therapy are Carl Rogers and Rollo May.<br /><br />Now, psychoanalytic kind of gets a bad wrap from some of Freud's weird stuff like Oedipus complex, but for example, Alice Miller began her work and grew out of the psychoanalytic school of thought. Almost all such theories believe important aspects of personality are formed in our early years. Some theorists I remember liking were Erik Erikson, Margaret Mahler, and Donald Winnicott.<br /><br />I would say if this guy is familiar with Alice Miller's work, he probably doesn't frame his personal approach to therapy solely around CBT, if at all. Feel free to ask what theories or theorists have influenced him, and look them up. I personally think somebody with a little psychoanalytic and/or humanistic/existential underpinnings would be good. Hope that helps some!Adela Albahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00378821081049143169noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8855431321052371348.post-29243053944094344952012-10-17T22:02:46.877+02:002012-10-17T22:02:46.877+02:00Yes, thank you. I can't believe I found a ther...Yes, thank you. I can't believe I found a therapist I can tell without shame that I've been reading Alice Miller :)Pronoia Agapehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07818746040570182407noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8855431321052371348.post-56848621799421302752012-10-17T22:01:52.640+02:002012-10-17T22:01:52.640+02:00Can I ask an indiscreet question? Which one do you...Can I ask an indiscreet question? Which one do you, as a professional, prefer and why? All the psychologists I know IRL are all over CBT and REBT and occasionally TA, but I just don't get why. I mean, sure, if you have a bit of a procrastination problem or a temporary anxiety/depression issue, something that needs a practical and quick fix, but for deep-seated stuff? I just don't get it.Pronoia Agapehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07818746040570182407noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8855431321052371348.post-35950858182457992512012-10-17T21:58:42.571+02:002012-10-17T21:58:42.571+02:00Oh my, all parents love their children?! Have they...Oh my, all parents love their children?! Have they heard of psychopaths, sociopaths, malignant narcissists, ummm... psychologically disturbed people! Awful!<br /><br />I agree, only a very young, inexperienced, overly optimistic person could believe that, by virtue of being professionally successful, people just overcome difficult childhoods and are just fine and dandy.Pronoia Agapehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07818746040570182407noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8855431321052371348.post-85720961820290604242012-10-17T21:56:15.301+02:002012-10-17T21:56:15.301+02:00Too polite. A problem. Thanks, I hope he'll be...Too polite. A problem. Thanks, I hope he'll be right for me.Pronoia Agapehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07818746040570182407noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8855431321052371348.post-35902293488181676302012-10-17T21:55:34.374+02:002012-10-17T21:55:34.374+02:00I've just imagined my therapist a bit like mul...I've just imagined my therapist a bit like mulderfan. "And the therapist's diagnosis was... 'Fuck'em!!!' :DPronoia Agapehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07818746040570182407noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8855431321052371348.post-80861409978257116252012-10-17T21:29:24.754+02:002012-10-17T21:29:24.754+02:00You were right to leave the first therapist, I agr...You were right to leave the first therapist, I agree with Jessie. This is exactly the kind of platitudinous stuff new-agers say. I'm not a big fan of cognitive behavioral therapy. I really do think that the abuse from NP runs much deeper and we need time, and unconscious work, to really start dislodging it at the level of our feelings. It's not about an "attitude" adjustment. And yes! to any therapist who is a fan of Alice Miller.Calibans Sisterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04817489284771105048noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8855431321052371348.post-68239552487280573072012-10-17T00:11:48.374+02:002012-10-17T00:11:48.374+02:00Yeah, REBT is considered a type of cognitive behav...Yeah, REBT is considered a type of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), so yeah, it definitely doesn't sound like what you are looking for. Hope the new one you've found works better for you, and it sounds to me like he will.Adela Albahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00378821081049143169noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8855431321052371348.post-42465912382756893112012-10-16T22:38:08.289+02:002012-10-16T22:38:08.289+02:00I'm glad you ditched the first therapist. It ...I'm glad you ditched the first therapist. It seems she's more interested in spitting out text book wisdom (I like the fortune cookie analogy above) than giving you actual tools.<br /><br />I'm crossing my fingers the new guy is better! Best of luck.jessiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06399613921768190064noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8855431321052371348.post-27335264333605214552012-10-16T22:16:55.234+02:002012-10-16T22:16:55.234+02:00Ooh, I'm not surprised you had such an unpleas...Ooh, I'm not surprised you had such an unpleasant reaction to that first therapist. The bit about people overcoming difficult childhoods to become successful professionals is especially repellent to me - professional success is not much of a barometer of mental/emotional health. Besides, hasn't she heard of "snakes in suits"? :p <br /><br />In my experience, I've gotten on much better with older therapists who have been around the block a few times and are long past the idea that all parents deep down really love their children. (I heard this from the last T I tried - aargh. That one only lasted 2 sessions) <br /><br />Best of luck with your new therapist.Elena Khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09736307012842060131noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8855431321052371348.post-50098137425997488422012-10-16T15:36:12.814+02:002012-10-16T15:36:12.814+02:00You are more polite than I am. When one of my cou...You are more polite than I am. When one of my counselors said something like that to me, I asked, "What the hell are you talking about?" I am glad you found someone that fits your needs. Makes all the difference. <br />Ruthhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07083142637240943607noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8855431321052371348.post-86479441820763208602012-10-16T15:30:29.426+02:002012-10-16T15:30:29.426+02:00In all of my experiences with therapists, I have h...In all of my experiences with therapists, I have had one, ONE that was good. She was awesome, actually, but it sucks having to go through three or five or twenty before you find a good one. <br /><br />Of course, the rub is that if you do find a good one, it's so worth it. Maybe your criteria for a therapist could be that she reminds you of Upsi. I'd like a therapist like Upsi.Jonsihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17517677634712242866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8855431321052371348.post-53717413435307685982012-10-16T15:00:13.283+02:002012-10-16T15:00:13.283+02:00Hi, Gladys! I felt exactly the same way until rece...Hi, Gladys! I felt exactly the same way until recently. Now, instead of feeling crushed, I can just tell her (in my head, of course) "You don't know what you're talking about. Next!"<br /><br />It is people writing these blogs and comments that helped me finally feel like validation is possible.Pronoia Agapehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07818746040570182407noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8855431321052371348.post-15063754321045977232012-10-16T14:56:50.181+02:002012-10-16T14:56:50.181+02:00Hahaha... Fortune cookie!!! You made my day.
Oh, ...Hahaha... Fortune cookie!!! You made my day.<br /><br />Oh, no, I found a nice Alice Miller fan that I'm def trying out when I recover financially and emotionally from this lovely event.Pronoia Agapehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07818746040570182407noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8855431321052371348.post-30579462376098937862012-10-16T14:54:48.695+02:002012-10-16T14:54:48.695+02:00This is the reason I have never had therapy in my ...This is the reason I have never had therapy in my life. I can't (couldn't) imagine going, telling part of the story, being berated or not validated, feeling like crap, going on to the next... My shell is much too soft for that sort of think I guess.<br /><br />I find your bravery and determination SO admirable. I hope this new therapist is the Cat's Pajamas and exactly (or darn close to) what you need.Gladyshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03379796403577898107noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8855431321052371348.post-49181448816987739232012-10-16T14:21:53.340+02:002012-10-16T14:21:53.340+02:00Good grief. This is not the therapist for you. I&#...Good grief. This is not the therapist for you. I'm hard pressed to see her as a therapist for anyone. I mean, seriously? "You need to accept yourself unconditionally?" Did she read that in a fortune cookie insert?<br /><br />I hope this experience doesn't totally turn you off from therapy because the ones who don't spout platitudes and are really well-trained can be life savers. Like I said in the comments a few posts ago, follow your gut. Don't feel bad that this woman didn't work out.Judithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16354890444410748967noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8855431321052371348.post-34623511375030740882012-10-16T11:44:23.855+02:002012-10-16T11:44:23.855+02:00Thanks, Trisha!
Here's a GREAT explanation o...Thanks, Trisha! <br /><br />Here's a GREAT explanation of JADE (justify, argue, defend, explain): http://aconsociety.blogspot.com/2012/10/a-gift-from-friend-jade.html<br /><br /><br />Pronoia Agapehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07818746040570182407noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8855431321052371348.post-74199967675455406342012-10-16T11:29:42.256+02:002012-10-16T11:29:42.256+02:00Good Morning! What is JADE?
That first therapist...Good Morning! What is JADE?<br /><br />That first therapist would not work for me at all. It's kind of shocking that she would be drawn to the sort of therapy that attacks and invalidates?!She reminds me of my nm and her 'tough love' approach to nurturing. It's an excuse to be abusive. From what you said in this post, seems to me that your intuition and gut are fantastic! Good luck and happy healing with that new therapist...sounds hopeful. :) Trishahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07023642047160256083noreply@blogger.com